Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (CIRS) and Lyme Disease robbed ten years of my life. In 2019, I was determined to take my life back and try new things despite my physical impairments. Since then, we have embarked on various adventures and trips that inspired my latest "Lymelight Adventures" series.
Last August, our family packed our bags and took a family trip to Nashville, Tennessee for the 2022 Huge Convention. We traveled by Delta who offered outstanding accommodations for my mobility challenges. Our teenage son has also suffered from chronic fatigue, pain, and headaches from Lyme Disease. He is what we call a "spoon" child in which he only has so much energy on reserve while the debilitating pain and weakness comes and goes. We never know what to expect when we are traveling, so we are prepared for any situation. Thankfully, our son felt great for this trip and truly enjoyed himself. We rented a town house with a balcony that had a gorgeous view of the cityscape, which both of our sons absolutely loved! Here are a few highlights of our trip to Nashville.
Country Music Hall of Fame and Johnny Cash Museum
Nashville is the country music capital, rich in music and culture. A trip to the city wouldn't be complete without a visit to the Country Music Hall of Fame! On the first morning of the trip, my husband and I toured the Hall of Fame, enjoying the museum artifacts and learning more about various country music legends. Country music was a significant part of our family backgrounds, which made it an enjoyable tourism attraction. We also visited the Johnny Cash Museum and learned more about Cash's music career and faith!
Nashville Zoo
The Nashville Zoo was our family favorite tourist attraction! Gorgeous waterfalls, lush greenery, and bamboo trees made for a breathtaking landscape at the zoo. We couldn't get enough of the spectacular wildlife and scenery, and we took hundreds of photos. At the Nashville Zoo, I was inspired to take more wildlife photographs and started posting daily pictures of nature and wildlife on social media.
Amazing Food
Nashville is also known for its delicious food and restaurants. As a Food Network fanatic, I couldn't wait to check out a few popular sights! We stopped to visit the Chauhan Ale and Masala House, a quaint little pub that serves Indian cuisine. Food Network Chef and Tournament of Champions winner, Maneet Chauhan, owns and operates the Masala House. The ambiance was unique and unpretentious with exposed brick and projections of dancers reflecting on the walls of the establishment for an unexpected experience!
By the request of our youngest son, we also visited Arnold's Country Kitchen, famous for their roast beef, turnip greens, and gooey macaroni and cheese dishes! The atmosphere at Arnold's had a backyard barbeque flare with cafeteria-styled dining and a rustic charm similar to a Famous Dave's. They had a DJ on site who livened up the evening with trivia contests and entertainment. Don't let the relaxed environment fool you because the steaks were outstanding! It was no surprise that this establishment was a Guy Fieri favorite!
Huge Convention Highlights
My husband and I selected Nashville for our 2022 family vacation so that we could attend the annual Huge Convention at the stunning Gaylord Opryland Resort and Convention Center. As business owners, we enjoy meeting other entrepreneurs to encourage and uplift each other in growing our companies and discovering the latest trends in business and technology. This year was no exception! Aside from networking and learning more about our trade, we enjoyed the inspirational guest speakers the most. We had the opportunity to meet Keni Thomas, former Army Ranger, country music singer, and author who was featured in the film, Black Hawk Down. He especially inspired my husband, who was a MPI and served as a paratrooper for Operation Desert Storm. The amazing speakers made the Huge Convention unforgettable!
"Lymelight" Adventures
Our trip to Nashville was like balm for our family spirit as we enjoyed all the beauty of the city and its spectacular zoo as well as being galvanized by the annual Huge Convention. Now, our family has entered 2023, ready to embark the next adventure. It has been a very tumultuous thirteen years, and I confess that this "Lymelight" warrior is exhausted from all the sickness, excitement, heartache, and mixed blessings. Life is hard and the times are scary, but God is bigger, and we will be strong and courageous with each escapade before us!
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." --Joshua 1:9
Welcome to the Joyful Mama "Lymelight" Adventures! In my warrior story, I introduced myself as a wife and mom who loves Jesus, writing poetry, and sharing stories that inspire others. I help my husband nurture and grow his small franchise business, and we mentor young men and women on both personal and professional growth. Once or twice a year, we travel across the country to learn about the trade and meet other business owners. We love meeting new and interesting people and encouraging them in their endeavors.
Last year, my husband booked our entire family and his small business field supervisor to take a trip for the 2021 Huge Convention in Atlanta, GA. Our two sons have never been on a plane ride, and I had not been on a plane since before I contracted Lyme disease in 2009. In fact, it had been over 16 years since I have been on a plane. With all these firsts for our family, the trip was expected to be epic! Truthfully, I was terrified of the unknown. We were in the middle of a pandemic being exposed to rumors of civil unrest in many of the major cities, Atlanta being one of them. I was struggling with a balance and mobility disorder that stemmed from chronic vertigo. My symptoms oftentimes escalated with exposure to fluorescent lights and electromagnetic fields, and I was wondering how I would be able to manage the airport and the flight. Then, my husband announced that he booked a VBRO at a small house in what appeared to be the inner city, and I found myself fretting over all the "what ifs." Regardless, I braced myself with a determination to pray about it and trust God for his protection and provision.
The Flight
On an early August morning, our family met up with my husband's employee and headed to the airport. I was nervous about going through customs as I had quite a few supplements to pack as well as an empty filtered water bottle and some diet-compliant snacks I brought to get me through the trip. I was unsure how I was going to handle the metal detector with all my sensitivities. Thankfully, the airport staff were wonderfully accommodating; however, I was rather dizzy during the process making it impossible to ambulate onto the plane. When you fly with a disability, the airport staff will call in attendants to assist you with loading onto a plane safely. They have a specialized wheelchair that they strap you into which requires two attendants to lift you up into the plane. It was an extremely humbling experience. When I boarded the plane, I was separated from my family and the airline staff decided to move my seat up to second class for an easier transition onto the plane. The attendant told me I should sit in the aisle seat which did not please the couple who had booked the seats, and they asked me to move to a window seat. As the plane roared and took off, I clutched my Bible, took a deep breath, and said a brief prayer. I asked the Lord to reveal to me his purpose for this trip and that I would see his work. Little did I know, he would answer this prayer in BIG ways!
Introducing Atlanta
The Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport was an immense hub of activity requiring us to travel a considerable distance amidst a throng of people and take a tram for our rental. We did not have enough room in our rental for everyone and my husband's employee graciously agreed to stay behind so the kids and I could get settled in our VBRO. We packed up into our vehicle and headed to a quiet inner-city neighborhood. As soon as I walked up to the porch of the small house, I was overcome by a musty smell and was hit hard by shortness of breath and vertigo. I sensed I was headed into a moldy building. As I looked at the barred windows on the humble abode, I thought to myself, "What am I getting into?" Upon entering the house, I said this prayer: "Lord, I don't know why we are placed here, and I have no idea how I am going to get through it, but I trust you. You put us here for a reason. Please show us what you are up to."
Once everyone was at the VBRO, we decided to go grocery shopping to accommodate special diets and get the things we needed. Traveling through inner city Atlanta was definitely an eye-opening experience. At just about every stop light and intersection, there were homeless individuals looking for money, food, and assistance. It was apparent that this was not going to be a typical family vacation.
Photo with the Fight Club Team at the 2021 Huge Convention, Atlanta!
The Huge Convention
Most of our trip was spent at the Marriott Marquis of downtown Atlanta, where we networked with other business owners in the industry. It was the first convention since the start of the pandemic. There were some challenges and adjustments needed in this environment; however, the convention was overall enjoyable and inspiring. Owning a small business can be one of the most exhausting yet rewarding endeavors. There is something about talking to individuals with a shared vision as well as similar goals and dreams that reminds you of the reason why you became an entrepreneur and refreshes your enthusiasm for growing your business. Some of the highlights of the convention was being introduced to Zig Ziglar's prodigy, meeting some incredible women entrepreneurs, and sharing our testimony for how we were able to keep our business afloat when my husband was hospitalized for 2 weeks with COVID.
Atlanta in a Pandemic
Our family planned on combining business with pleasure by incorporating sightseeing in the evenings after the convention. Unfortunately, most places closed early and there were not many opportunities for family activities. Our youngest son was very disappointed that he missed out on the opportunity to visit the Lego Museum because of their limited hours. Determined to find a replacement activity, my husband and I perused the internet for options. The only family-oriented establishment that was open after regular business hours was an inner-city bowling alley that required passing through a metal detector by an armed security officer for entrance. The security guard was very kind and said "God Bless you" as we entered the building. The bowling alley itself was rundown and almost empty at first; however, crowds of inner-city kids streamed in for bowling and laser tag as the night went on. It may not have been the ideal sight-seeing activity; however, we made the best of it. My husband and our three children had a fun evening of pizza and bowling while I watched and snapped a few photos to remember the evening!
The Mission
On the trip, our family had to make accommodations for my teenage son and myself which required us to stay at a place with a kitchenette for dietary needs and a private space to retreat from noise and activities when experiencing headaches and fatigue. We typically buy more groceries than what we need in these situations, this trip being no exception. The VBRO owner would expect that we would keep the house in the same condition as they prepared it and probably would not appreciate our leaving the groceries behind. We couldn't bring them on the plane, and we didn't want to dispose the extra food either. My husband decided to find someone in the neighborhood who might want our leftover food. As he approached a neighboring house, there was a woman sitting on the porch. When he offered our leftover food to the woman, she started crying and told him that two days ago, her adult son fell out of his wheelchair and injured himself. The woman tried to rescue him, but it was too late, and she held him in her arms as he drew his last breath. The family had very little financial means and they did not have enough food to go around for his funeral that weekend.
The last night of our trip, my husband and I brought our youngest son over to the house to meet the woman and her other two sons. We gave them all the food we had. There was a lot of hugs and tears as we circled together, and our youngest son led them all in prayer. The woman was very touched by the prayer and said, "Thank you baby." My husband and I both were inspired by the gratitude and the simple faith of this grieving family. It was a very humbling experience.
We left Atlanta early the next morning, watching the glorious sunrise over the city. As I reflected on our business trip, I sensed God's moving and knew that it was his providence that the circumstances played out in the way they did. Shortly after returning home, my husband received a phone call from the homeowner of our VBRO. She was a multilingual Congo native who called her small property an "oasis of hope." She informed my husband that she prayed specifically for a Christian family to stay at her property and prayed that they would minister to the family next door who recently lost their loved one. She said we were the answer to her prayers. We were dumbfounded that God would use our family in such a simple way. Our vacation seemed more like a mission trip than a vacation. Afterwards, both my oldest son and I had painful flareups from the mold exposure; however, it was so worth it!
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Here are some of the sentiments I shared about our trip on a Facebook post:
"For three days, we experienced a glimpse of the "real" and "raw" Atlanta, and it evoked many emotions. I teared up as my husband's employee gave all he had to a pregnant homeless woman and when I observed a disabled woman sitting in her wheelchair with bruised legs and disfigured hands begging for food on the side of the road. I was inspired at my husband's convention when I finally had a chance to meet the Israeli I admired so much. As a young woman, she was homeless herself, but fought to get where she is today. She now encourages and advocates for small business owners. I was introduced to the Columbian refugee who had to flee his homeland with his mother and very few belongings. When he was 17, the Ziglar family gave him a job and welcomed him into their "business family." I was encouraged to hear him describe how he thanks God every day for the opportunity to live in this great country. I talked to a young mom from Texas who buried her husband less than a year ago and is using her business as a way to support her child and share their story with others. Her courage and faith in God to guide her in keeping her husband's business vision alive gave me chills.
I know my youngest son was disappointed that there were not many tourist attractions open to the public, yet I was so proud of him for wanting to take food to a family in the neighborhood we were staying. I cried with the woman who watched her son die this week. Most of all, I was humbled by their simple faith and trust in the Lord as they grieved. I was touched by the look of joy on my son's face when he told me how happy it made him to visit them. No, it was not your typical family vacation yet it was an unforgettable one as I examined the all the poverty, sadness, hope, and most of all the Jesus in Atlanta. I guess when you pray for God to show himself, you never know what you might get. God is always working. Sometimes, we just need to open our eyes and see what he is up to."
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9
I am a 46-year-old wife and mom who loves Jesus, journaling, reading books, taking photographs, and gardening. I am passionate about language and writing poetry, and I have been blogging for over ten years. I write for another blog called, Broken Places, which has been my labor of love. Two years ago, I attempted to launch a writing and consulting business; however, keeping up with two teenage boys and having a small business out of our home consumes most of my time. I help my husband nurture and grow his small franchise business, and we mentor young men and women on both personal and professional growth. Once or twice a year, we travel across the country to learn about the trade and meet other business owners. We love meeting new and interesting people and encouraging them in their endeavors.
Even though I spend a considerable amount of time interacting with people, I am truly an introvert at heart. I am not much for small talk, and I get the most enjoyment out being focused and driven. I would rather get down to real issues and deep topics in my conversations, and I am energized by having time to myself-- reading, reflecting, and writing.
I thrive on challenges, and once I set my mind on something, I tend to be strong-willed and stubborn. That is how I became a warrior- tough, determined, and full of grit. I needed to be a warrior to survive because I have been through an extensive battle that I wouldn't have wished on my worst enemy. It all started on Labor Day, 2009, when I was out to the lake cabin and discovered a tick bite that would forever change my life. Two years later, I was diagnosed with chronic untreated Lyme disease. By then the disgusting cork-screw bacterium multiplied and burrowed throughout my body, invading my nerve tissue and organs. I was fighting for my life and sanity with no definitive answers, resources, or adequate medical care. I discovered that Lyme disease has been grossly misunderstood by the medical community and general public, and I figured out rather quickly that I was on my own. If I wanted to survive, I would need to dig deep into my faith and push for every possible resource I could find. It was the most difficult, life altering, terrifying, and rewarding experience of my life. That was the start of my warrior adventures.
Vacation to Mount Rushmore and Bear Country in 2015
The Battle
For over five years, I was house-bound and semi bedridden with Lyme disease, con-infections, and a condition known as CIRS or Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome. With these conditions, getting out of the house was an ordeal. In 2015, our family went on a trip to Mount Rushmore to celebrate my daughter's sixteenth birthday. I spent most of the trip in bed feeling sorry for myself because I wasn't able to get out and enjoy sightseeing with my family. Determined to spend some time with them, I pulled myself out of bed to visit a tourist attraction called Bear Country. My legs gave out at the outdoor arena, and I was overwhelmed with weakness and vertigo. I was feeling discouraged and defeated and asked my husband to help me to the van. On the way out, we noticed a visitor wheelchair sitting near the entrance, and my husband suggested we borrow it. It was embarrassing for me to take this first step; however, having a mobile device offered the possibility for me to spend more time with my family. The experience was a foretaste of the adventures to come.
That year, the battle was intense as the disease ravaged my body and nervous system. I was once again flattened by this life-altering illness; however, I refused to give up. Tapping into a very personal relationship with Jesus and a willingness to try anything to overcome the disease, I spent my time in bed reading my Bible as well as researching nutrition and other healing methods. Through a painfully slow process, I steadfastly emerged from the dark pit of Lyme. With a wheelchair donated by a member of our church, I tentatively stepped into the possibilities.
First Time out Shopping, Summer of 2016
Emerging from the Pit
Two years after our family vacation, I was steadily engaging in family activities; and my teenage daughter decided it was time to for me to get out in public again. She wanted her mom back. My daughter researched mobility options by stopping at a local Target store to inquire about their scooter systems. One day, she announced that we were going shopping together. I was hesitant to try something new; however, she was persistent and made it happen. It was a huge step, and we both were very excited!
"Extraordinary things only happen to extra ordinary people" --C.S. Lewis
Raising Awareness
After that first step, outings became a regular thing for us, and we wanted to raise awareness about the struggles we faced. In 2019, my daughter and I decided to vlog our experiences. We produced a YouTube series called "Heart of the Dragon" to describe our encounters with chronic illness. The series was named after an adventure in the novel, "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" by CS Lewis. The adventure described how a boy named Eustace was forced to address his physical and character flaws by becoming a loathsome dragon, and in doing so, he was transformed into a noble warrior. The dragon concept became a metaphor for rising out the ashes of illness to be transformed through the process of sanctification. The videos were of low quality; however, we had a great time making them. We used videos to document many of our outings and adventures. In those video escapades, we highlighted my determination to take my life back, and we shared many of my firsts.
Warrior Adventures
A consultation with master stylist, CJ Nelson
I had my first professional haircut in almost ten years!
Nickelodeon Universe at Mall of America
For my daughter's 20th birthday, I went on my first rollercoaster ride in over two decades!
Trip to Branson for the Huge Convention, 2019
In August of 2019, we took a family vacation to Branson where I attended my first Huge Convention with my husband. While in Branson, we created videos about our experience and produced an episode unveiling the blessings and challenges involving our trip. It was definitely an unforgettable experience!
The Battle of Grief and the "Way of Love"
This warrior embarked the year of 2019 strong, feeling ready to conquer the world. That world crashed on Thanksgiving when we were held back from visiting my folks from Kansas because of an unexpected snowstorm. The following Monday, I received a phone call that my mom was having difficulty breathing and was hospitalized with pneumonia. The Christmas season was bittersweet as the Lord called me to demonstrate a new "Way of Love" in the care of my mom while facing the inevitable. A month later, I said my final goodbyes and let her go to Jesus. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do; however, it was the Lord's providence for her be at peace as she was spared from an upcoming pandemic.
A Kansas Sunset ended 2019
Pandemic Warrior
Two months later, the COVID 19 Pandemic hit, and this grieving warrior was forced into an unaccustomed arena of bitterness and confusion. At that time, my daughter and I made the decision to discontinue our vlog and focus on keeping us all safe and the family business afloat. In October of 2020, my husband contracted COVID 19 and was hospitalized for two weeks. With limited knowledge and resources available, it was a terrifying time for our entire family; however, we held firm to our faith and got through it. At that point, I lost any desire to make videos or blog about our adventures. The COVID 19 pandemic instigated an unprecedented battle that I wasn't prepared to engage in.
Trip to the North Shore to Celebrate 20 Years of Marriage!
Diversified Adventures
In 2021, my husband and I wanted to move past the pandemic battle as we traveled up North to the places where we met and fell in love. Together, we celebrated 20 years of marriage at the North Shore, and we were ready to make a fresh start for our lives and marriage. Though the grief and emotions involving the turbulent times had not subsided, we made a commitment to embark new diversified adventures with our family.
It has been a very tumultuous thirteen years, and this warrior is exhausted from all the sickness, excitement, heartache, and mixed blessings. Although I am worn out, I am not ready to give up anytime soon. We may not have any video exploits in the future; however, there are plenty of quests ahead of us. Only the Lord knows what those experiences will be. Grief and hardship take a toll, yet the Lord will transform these adventures into something unexpected and glorious.
Here is an excerpt from our 2022 family Newsletter summing it all up:
"Bereavement and human suffering are difficult to comprehend in these earthly bodies, but we were made for something greater, and the Lord uses these struggles to more clearly reveal His enormous love and power that stretches far beyond our mortality.
May we cherish moments with our loved ones and give each other enough grace to comprehend that these 'light and momentary afflictions cannot compare to the future weight of glory beyond comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things unseen are eternal.'- 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
May we keep our eyes heavenward and focus on the blessings that brought joy and unity among us. May this be a year of rediscovery and revival as the Iridescent Hope of the Lord's promises seep into our existence."
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Iridescent Hope
The world around us propels at breakneck speed and delves into the shadowed realms in which we strive to grasp what drives our futile longings to achieve.
When we love, we laugh, we sigh, we weep, and we grieve—our sorrows and muted desires blend instinctively into a kaleidoscope of distant thoughts and uncertain dreams.
When we’ve reached the bottom of cisterns opening our empty souls to infinity, we encounter the Iridescent Hope that which invaded humanity in thefrailty of an infant King born to save us and set captives free.
His tiny fists clenched, those wee little hands that one day would open up to carry our burdens nailed to the path ofcruelty in the bittersweet arms of Calvary.
The world around us is marred by hate, division, unforgiveness, and ugly brutality.
We weren’t made for such despair, as our hearts were designed to seek mercy in the gentle unity of sacrificial love manifested by the Iridescent Hope of our God King!
—Darcee Zehm
“The Steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23
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For More Information about Lyme Disease Awareness:
On March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization declared a global pandemic with the virus known as COVID-19. Like a dystopian novel, everything changed as our society encountered widespread panic in which store shelves were wiped clean and toilet paper became a scarcity. There was fear of a virus that no one really knew anything about and hit our vulnerable citizens with a vengeance. There were widespread travel bans and various state and local mandates. Hospitals, nursing homes, and assisted living centers shut out the public. Surgeries and procedures were canceled, and people had limited access to medical care unless they were in a critical situation. People were told to stay home as schools and churches closed and businesses were ordered to cease operations. Everyone home schooled and attended church at home. People did not see each other except on Zoom, and when they could get out, they peered at each other behind face masks. Everyone started talking about things like "fake news" and "plandemic", and we began to question what was real and what to believe. Extreme partisan divides and polarization on political idealization widened the gap as people raged from their position of whether to mask, get vaccinated, or even step outside of their homes. As the political and societal tensions elevated, many of us asked ourselves if the world had gone mad!
COVID Hits Home
Seven months after the pandemic started, COVID hit home for our family when my husband was tested positive. Because he tends to be a very stubborn hard-working man, my husband was determined to not let a positive diagnosis hold him back; however, the virus flattened him in the wake of his compromised respiratory condition. The downward spiral of symptoms was rather alarming as we spent our 19th anniversary with my making arrangements for him to be transferred out of a rural hospital. I used my experience as a social worker to advocate for my husband and request that medical professionals from the VA authorize the transfer to a facility that would be able to offer the skilled care necessary to combat this illness. It was an extremely stressful and upsetting time, yet God worked through the entire ordeal. Thankfully, he did receive approval for the transfer to a COVID unit that had a medical team with the knowledge and compassion to offer the necessary treatments and care. The hospital did not allow visitors on the COVID unit, so our family had nightly Facetime meetings with him in which the kids read scripture and recited prayers. The hospital staff cautioned my husband about overexerting his limited lung capacity, therefore, the kids and I did most of the talking during our nightly Facetime gatherings. Thankfully, once he made it through the worst of the ordeal, his recovery came back quickly.
Our extended family came together as my husband and two of his sisters were hospitalized with COVID over the fall and winter. His middle sister requiring sedation as her infectious control physician felt it would be best for her to be in a medically induced coma for her lungs to heal. Hardships have a way of leveling the playing field and humbling us. Facetime and family Zoom conferences were precious treasures for our family as we came to the realization how little control we have over our own destinies. Times like these put things into perspective by bringing awareness to how small we really are and how we reduce God with our finite understanding. These hardships are the groundwork for survival in a COVID world.
SURVIVING A COVID WORLD
No matter what philosophy, political platform, or perspective we carry, no one can deny that the COVID pandemic of 2020 has been an unforgettable world event. Many of us have questioned if we were facing Armageddon as news reports become more troubling and surreal. Truthfully, throughout history various cultures have encountered famine, sickness, persecution, death, and unimaginable horrific circumstances at one time or the other. I think as American's we forget that the world does not revolve around us, and there is a bigger picture than what we can see. I am not minimizing the hardships and trauma that many have faced during this pandemic. The events of the past year have opened our eyes to circumstances beyond our comfortable self-absorbed existence. It has been a very troubling year; however, until we make a conscious effort to shut off our television sets and social media for reprieve, we will be easily swept up in a tidal wave of gloom and despair. The first step of survival is stepping back and evaluating both the world events and our attitudes from an outsider's perspective to identify wisdom and reality. Survival starts in our minds and the attitudes of our hearts!
RENEWAL OF CHOICE
Last September, I posted an article on the "Culture of Change in a COVID World." I wrote these words to describe my commitment to renew my mind and heart daily by refusing to allow societal negativity to affect my spirit. This is what I wrote:
"As we approach the last four months of a crummy year, I have been taking a pause to re-evaluate multiple aspects of my life and implement some significant changes. I have taken a critical look at the overall purpose and mission of our family as well as my personal achievements. I am striving to reduce and/or eliminate ANYTHING that is unproductive or irrelevant to this mission which includes what I am focusing on, thinking about, viewing, reading, listening to, eating, putting in my body, and saying. I am committed to taking at least an hour a day to reprocess my focus and replace that was previously negative and not beneficial with what is helpful, useful, healthy, and most of all honors God. I am committed to doing a better job at taking care of myself so that I can best serve my husband and family. I am committed to giving myself some grace to recognize I am a human residing in an ugly fallen world and forgive myself as well as others. Although I choose to take moments to track news and events, I am committed to shutting it down regularly and keeping it in its place so that it does not create fear, anxiety, dissension, or hopelessness for me and/or my relationships. Finally, I am committed to laugh more, smile more, and NOT allow these things to steal my joy. I hope and pray we can all take these ugly times to turn to God Who can recreate it into something beautiful."
In the wake of a renewal in my perspective, I have come to the realization we cannot stop COVID or the global response to this pandemic. We cannot change the legislative response to the pandemic or the views of our fellow Americans. We cannot change our circumstances; however, we can turn to the One Who Never Changes and BE THE CHANGE by His transforming power. I am uncertain what tomorrow will bring, but today I embrace each day with determination, grit, and joy because He is enough.
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JOYFUL TREASURES: Count it All Joy
"Count it all joy when you face trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." --James 1:2
Life's winter season always come to an end with the unfolding of Spring. Our suffering may be for a moment; however, the "Blessed Controller of All Things" will somehow meet us in our place of hardship to carry us through the valley. Someday, we will receive our reward for these hardships. Victory comes not in what we have done to overcome our sorrows; but what our Creator has done for us.
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For more information about surviving a COVID Pandemic, you can read my blog written last September: COVID Culture of Change
It is "the most wonderful time of the year." Christmas caroling, holiday parties, secret Santa and white elephant exchanges, cookie exchanges, baking extravaganzas, Christmas concerts, and family gatherings are some of the many events people look forward to when approaching the holidays. Christmas music, vibrant lights, and delicious scents exude an ambiance of joy and goodwill. We should all relish in the season of giving and holiday cheer, right? I have a confession to make. Christmas is less than a week away and I haven't ordered any Christmas cards, and we do not have any presents under our tree. I haven't baked anything and none of our kids had any concerts or holiday events at school this year. The pile of Hallmark Christmas movies and Christmas CD's that I usually indulge remain unopened. This is not a typical situation in our home. I may sound like a complete "scrooge", but truthfully, I want to enjoy Christmas, and given where I have been, it shouldn't be hard to find delight in the season of hope. I have so much to be thankful for and countless blessings, yet my soul feels weighed with a tremendous amount of heaviness.
The Christmas season is a joyful, generous, loving, tumultuous, aggravating, and lonely time that evokes a variety of memories and emotions that tends to bring out the best and the worst in people. It may seem like everyone else has it all together and are making it happen, but the holiday blues is actually a very real and normal situation for many of us. I usually find Christmas to be one of the "best times of the year", and I don't understand exactly what made this year different for me. I have recently experienced so many breakthroughs that should cause me to celebrate these victories; however, it seems like as I make strides in my own life, I take notice of circumstances and disappointments that are dragging down the people I love. I hurt for them, plain and simple.
At church Sunday, our pastor preached a beautiful sermon on why we should be experiencing Christmas hope and making a "joyful noise" when we come before the Lord in song; however, when the Savior songs filled the sanctuary, I opened my mouth to sing the familiar carols and my lips fell silent. Instead, I closed my eyes and found myself a little girl again at my Grandma's house, the sights, sounds, and tastes of Christmas very real and almost too much to bear. My heart ached, and I just rested in the sacredly reminiscent moment. Not wanting to drag out my holiday doldrums like dirty laundry to air out, I pasted on my best smile after church and gritted my teeth through greetings and pleasantries. As the sanctuary began to empty out of cheerful carolers, a woman approached me and said to me, "I have a message for you from the Lord." With an emotional and compassionate voice, the woman shared with me that the Lord has taken notice of the long hard battle I have been experiencing, and He simply wanted me to know that I needed to trust in Him as He carries me through this extremely long season of suffering. That was the moment that the dams broke and the tears flowed, humble tears and sacred tears knowing that God took notice and loved me enough to give a special message of hope through this devoted child of His. Her kind words were just what I needed to hear, that my Savior wanted me to know that I am precious and loved and that it is OK to grieve. He takes me just as I am.
It is easy to expect that we should have a certain attitude or perspective about Christmas, and if we don't meet those social norms and cultural expectations, we should feel guilty or ashamed of ourselves. Maybe we put too much emphasis on the expectations of how the holidays should be and overlook the true meaning behind our Savior's birth. I like to think that the Lord is taking my sorrow and grief and turning it into a sacred moment of hope by bringing me to a place of needing to totally depend on Him. Perhaps, I am exactly where I need to be, and it is enough!
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JOYFUL TREASURES: Be Kind
"Be kind because everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" --Plato
Don't forget that each one of us is facing a battle of some sort and so many are grieving, especially during the holidays. When we change our outlook on humanity and see each other as image bearers of God amidst very real and hard struggles, it levels the playing field so that we can demonstrate more kindness and compassion for each other.
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For more information about making it through the holidays:
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