Last March, I enthusiastically started this blog with a desire to share some of the tidbits I learned about whole living in my pursuit for wellness. I couldn't wait to divulge some of the cooking tips and recipes I picked up while experimenting with the GAPS (Gut and Psychology Syndrome) diet along with other nuggets of wisdom in my quest for spreading joy in the simplicity of life. I was in the process of learning to make homemade GAPS foods like almond bread, almond milk, homemade yogurt, and fermenting my own vegetables. In doing so, I started experimenting with foods I hadn't touched in years, and I even tried to make my own homemade salsa! I was having fun with this new adventure until the foods I introduced caused an inflammatory response that set me back even farther with food and chemical intolerances, and I was forced to stop fermenting and making other GAPS foods all together.
About a year ago, my primary doctor sat me down and told me that she felt my symptoms pointed to a debilitating condition known as Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome or CIRS, a common dual diagnosis with Chronic Lyme Disease. We were hesitant in proceeding with labs and treatment, especially since I was making progress with my other therapies. We had seen an overall improvement in my condition. Unfortunately, I struggled with moderating my improvements and therefore went overboard by taking on too much. I was thrilled to have renewed energy I had not experienced in a very long time, and I couldn't seem to slow down. Over the summer and fall seasons, I became exhausted trying to keep up with my husband, his business, our three active children, and a new puppy; not to mention all the supplements, treatments, and other therapies I was doing.
It was just before the holidays. Two nights before Thanksgiving, we were planning a trip to see my family down south, and I was up half the night going through an insurance audit that needed to be done before we left. The next morning, I woke up feeling exhausted with a bloated stomach, swollen ankles, and aching all over. I looked into the mirror and observed the reality that my previous Lyme disease battle in conjunction with chronic stress and sleep deprivation had worked its way across my weary face. I felt like I was falling apart. Hesitant to travel with these new flareups, I called with my alternative practitioner for advice. He was the one who took extra time to figure out my complicated situation in order to help me overcome many of the damaging effects of Lyme disease, and he was the one who had discovered my histamine intolerance and methylation disorder that has impaired my body's ability to tolerate many foods and substances. My practitioner expressed concern that my histamine was getting out of hand again, and I was going back into an autoimmune reaction. We had a tough decision to make about whether or not we should still travel to Kansas to see my folks. We decided to go for it despite these concerns. As hard as the trip was on my body, I cherished invaluable time with my family. I needed to be back to my childhood home for a few days!
After the holidays, my primary doctor went through some labs with me, and she diagnosed me with a painful and relentless intestinal disorder called SIBO (Small Intestine Bacteria Overgrowth). My labs also indicated that I was experiencing malabsorption of nutrients from the chronic overgrowth of bacteria as well as elevated cortisone levels in my bloodstream. We discussed concerning red flags from my hormone panel, nutritional profile, and other labs. She informed me that my body was going through adrenal fatigue from sleep deprivation and high stress, and I was going to end up relapsing back to where I started if I didn't take better care of myself. I had to make some lifestyle changes. It was NOT negotiable! What happened to the simplicity I hoped to achieve?
A while back, I looked at this untouched blog that I put aside to "simplify" my life, and I had to laugh. Living Simply? Really? My life had become anything BUT simple. My joy seemed to be slipping through my fingertips like an evasive thought. Don't get me wrong, I have much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful husband who loves and cherishes me, 3 incredible beautiful children, the sweetest dog ever, and a huge support system of family, friends, and church members to cheer me on!! I have a myriad of ideas, ambitions, and hobbies that I would love to pursue, and my relationship with God has been my cornerstone for steadfastness. On the flip side, I have a chronic condition that wears me down and holds me back from all that I desire to do. I guess my body can't keep up with my heart and my mind. My life seems far from simple as I vacillate between valiant attempts to achieve "super" wife and "super" mom status and falling over exhausted, held up in bed for days at a time recovering from my "super" efforts. I tell myself, "I just need to get through this week", "the summer craziness", "the fall rush for my husband's business", "the holidays", "basketball and wrestling season", "my son's birthday party", and "seeing my daughter through to graduation and college." "Keep moving forward." "You got this." "You can sleep tomorrow." The fight in me keeps kicking though it sometimes kicks me over. I may fall down and I may be bone weary, but I just keep getting back up and pressing on; however, I need to ask myself at what cost.
Since my ongoing health struggles don't quite match up the plans I had for this blog, I'm asking myself where I should go from here. Blogs about healthy eating and natural whole living are probably a dime a dozen. My other blog, "Broken Places", which has been my labor of love for almost 7 years, has touched over 50,000 lives with stories of God's sovereignty in suffering. I plan on continuing my quest to inspire others with the message of redemption amidst hardship and sorrow through "Broken Places", and yet I also long to offer gratitude and encouragement that transforms the simple aspects of life with "Joyful Mama." How do I do that?
I think people have been inspired by my other blog because they are able to connect with its raw expression of affliction mixed with hope. Maybe my pursuit of simple whole living involves sharing my struggles and triumphs in battling the day to day stuff. Maybe people simply are looking for the tangible truth, something they can relate to. I need to be real with my readers because life ISN'T simple and it sometimes really stinks; however, I am going to TRY to make it simpler and I am going to keep pursuing joy in my daily walk.
This article is for my warrior friends who are battling this crazy life that is anything BUT simple. Let's press on and be committed to dispose the extra garbage in our lives and strive to find restoration in the simple gifts our creator designed for our personal delight. As we pursue the simplicity of ultimate truth and link arms to withstand our daily struggles, we will surely succeed in achieving divine victory!
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JOYFUL TREASURES: Taking Victory!
1 John 5:4 "For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith."
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*For more information about living with invisible disabilities you can visit my blog, Broken Places:
http://dzehm.blogspot.com/2015/10/care-in-our-culture-part-1-invisible.html
http://dzehm.blogspot.com/2016/02/care-in-our-culture-part-two-invisible.html
