Glimpses Into Chronic Illness: My Trip to the DMV

Last summer, my teenage daughter was going in to take her driver's test for her license.  I noticed that my license was up for renewal so I decided to go with her and renew my license while we were there. Our family friend and mentor, Ron, came along with both of us for moral support.  I was a little nervous about going to the DMV because I have a rare condition from CIRS (Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome) and history of Chronic Lyme that causes hypersensitivity around florescent lights, WiFi, and other electromagnetic frequencies which makes balance and mobility more difficult in public places.  We went armed with my wheelchair, headache visor to block out the lights, and a pair of sunglasses.

While my daughter was off with the driving instructor, I worked on my paperwork for renewal.  The lady at the counter was very kind and accommodating.  I got all of my paperwork in and was able to stay in the wheelchair for the pictures.  Everything went smoothly until I wheeled myself up to pay, and the clerk asked me why I was in a wheelchair. I answered all of her questions about my condition and explained to her that I am not always in a wheelchair but I get weakness in my legs and sometimes need to use it in public places.  She told me that it was their policy that individuals with impairments need to be evaluated by an MD and then have the state medical review team review the evaluation for license approval.  I was disappointed but figured they were just doing their job.  Afterwards, we chuckled over the fact my teenager passed her exam but I didn't have such luck.

I was not looking forward to going back to explain myself at the DMV again and put it off until I decided I better get in and get it over with.  I scheduled an appointment with my primary doctor, a wonderful woman who knows me well and has supported me throughout my health struggles over the years.  At the appointment, I passed the evaluation with flying colors as I have no cognitive loss or other impairments that would affect my judgement and ability to drive.  I wasn't ready to give up this aspect of my independence since I have already had so many other losses with being chronically ill. 

After turning in my paperwork to the state medical review, I spoke to a woman on the phone who said that they processed everything, and based on my evaluation, they approved my license renewal.  I was good to go, so Ron came with me to go back and complete the paperwork for a new license.  At that time, we realized my wheelchair was locked up in my daughter's vehicle at the high school so we figured I could use my cane and hang on to Ron's arm.  When we got there, I discovered that I forgot my headache visor, and I was going to have to put up with the bright lights and do my best.  At the DMV, Ron went to the desk and got the paperwork for me.  Because of my balance disorder it would be too difficult for me to stand in line.  They were accommodating again with the pictures and let me sit to wait for my turn.  The second experience was a little more daunting without my wheelchair or visor, but I was equipped with a small binder of Bible verses that encouraged me as I meditated on them.

Once again, it was time to pay, and Ron went up and asked if I could sit while processing my debit card.  The woman said, "No she can't."  Then she called across the room, "What is going on? Why can't you stand?"  At that moment, everyone in the room seemed to be staring at me, and I would have like to have been swallowed up and hide myself from humiliation. I tightened my grip on my Bible verses, smiled at the woman, and said, "It's OK.  I have all the documentation and approval needed to get my license."  The woman requested to see my documentation and said she needed to make a phone call.  While waiting, I took a deep breath and continued to mediate on my verses while praying silently for the strength to get through this ordeal.  I would need to choose my words carefully.

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Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

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After making her phone call, she came up to where I was sitting and told me that she did get approval from the state to renew my license but still wasn't convinced that she should give it to me.  She said that if my "husband" was there to help me, how can she be sure that I am capable of getting in and out of a vehicle on my own.  At that moment, I could have cowered in defeat and walked away or I could have have expressed my indignation with her for making a scene in front of everyone, but I knew that neither of these responses would have positive outcomes.  Though she could have saved a scene in how she approached the situation, it was her job to assure the safety of other drivers out on the road.   I honestly wouldn't want my newly licensed teenager driver out on the road with someone who might black out behind the wheel or have cognitive issues that would make them unsafe to drive. I prayed silently, looked her in the eye, and calmly explained why it was difficult for me to be in a public place with strong florescent lights and how it affected my mobility.  I kept it short and to the point but was gracious and friendly at the same time.  She did finally agree to process my license and said my "husband" could bring me the paperwork so that I would only need to stand briefly when I signed off my debit card.

What an embarrassing experience, but I walked out of that place with my head held high feeling like I just finished the marathon of my life.  It was a huge victory for me!  Ron and I both had a long laugh over the references to my "husband" since he is closer to my dad's age, and we were ready to "high five" it as we got in the car to head back home.  God is good in all situations and I was very thankful for His peace and presence in dealing with this daunting situation.  Such experiences with my chronic illness have taught me to take nothing for granted!

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JOYFUL TREASURES:  Laughter is the Best Medicine!

Job 8:21 "He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy."

When we feel defeated by situations out of our control, sometimes the best response is to stop and laugh--a healing remedy in our grief.  Chronic illnesses can rob us of so much including our joy.  There were times where I did forget to laugh, and supernatural joy is one aspect of my life that the Lord has restored in my healing process.  Our family friend and mentor, Ron Mosca, is one of the most gracious and happy people we know.  He has brought a lot of joy into our family during some dark times when my husband and children watched me fighting for my life.  Friendship and laughter is a gift we greatly treasure!

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**This article is NOT intended to discredit the DMV.  I am thankful for their role in keeping our streets safe.  My intention here is to demonstrate how we can approach uncomfortable and unpleasant situations with grace and dignity
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For more information about Chronic Conditions and Invisible Disabilities, you can read some of my other blog posts:

https://puresimplewholeliving.blogspot.com/2018/02/simply-living-when-life-is-anything-but.html

https://puresimplewholeliving.blogspot.com/2018/03/glimpses-into-chronic-illness-why-cant.html

https://puresimplewholeliving.blogspot.com/2018/04/glimpses-into-chronic-illness-but-you.html

https://dzehm.blogspot.com/2017/01/out-of-labyrinth-part-1-healing-through.html

https://dzehm.blogspot.com/2017/01/out-of-labyrinth-part-2-lessons-ive.html

https://dzehm.blogspot.com/2015/10/care-in-our-culture-part-1-invisible.html

https://dzehm.blogspot.com/2016/02/care-in-our-culture-part-two-invisible.html

http://dzehm.blogspot.com/2014/08/kellys-hope-part-three-bridging-gap.html